The separation made him regret in life at some point and tried to made up for the loss he had with his family. The different educational level of Rodriguez and his parents has made it difficult for Rodriguez to communicate with them as he were mostly into books. He felt ashamed on how his parents could not answer; understand his homework questions or what he had been studying. At some point, Rodriguez intentionally tries to hurt their feelings because he thought he hates them for unable to be there for him intellectually.
After ending the pleasure of education and knowledge at school, he expect some reactions on sharing his thoughts and reflections with his parents but unfortunately, the lack of abilities his parents possessed made him unsatisfied, unfulfilled and upset with their condition. “His academic success distances him from a life he loved, even from a memory of himself (Rodriguez)”. Another fact in culture difference is the surrounding of those two places: his home and school. “The scholarship boy must move between environments, his home and the classroom, which are at cultural extremes (Rodriguez)”.
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Rodriguez has affection and intimacy from the family warmth whereas, at school, he has to be active with thought processes and reflections upon the knowledge he received. The two environments made him act differently and he began to see the reasons upon those differences especially when his parents could not help with his homework. These impressions made him keep all by himself most of the time the atmosphere at home could not attract enough for him to communicate physically much even though mentally his emotions are willing to be part of his family.
The level of communication and how a person does it well depends of the kind cultural environment that he is at. Rodriguez has trusted his teachers’ directions and inspired by the words they have delivered but not his parents. He could make a good conversation, inspiring and sharing thoughts, exchanging ideas with the teachers and other students at school. If he had a problem understanding something, his teacher would explain it to him and also praised him for the good work he has done. On the other hand, at home, his mom could not even understand the reason why he is so much into books and thought he has a very different perspective.
Because of the noise and other uncomfortable conditions, it is hard for him to concentrate or read at home while reading is like the only thing he mostly does. These situations act as a wall between him and his family later on, which conditionally drifted him away. One of the things he mentioned in the essay is that he considered himself as a bad student. What he means by that is that he is not a creator of his own thoughts and rather Han that, he collects other’s such as every knowledge he received from his teachers. He believes this is the main reason why he is lack of self-assurance.
Growing up his literate world with the help of books and the lectures given by teachers, he got the practice of depending all on these sources of knowledge he receives. Later in this thought, this way of growing up his mind is somewhat destroys him in his own skills of creativity and considered himself as a dummy. The Nostalgic feelings Rodriguez has at the end of his schooling derives from the Hough of missing too much time with his family in the past and feeling guilt and longs for the loss of precious memories he should have created.
These uneasy feelings are the reason what made him able to find pleasure simply in his mother and father later on. Another fact he has faced is, after he has gained all those great knowledge from the books and academic lessons he has learned in the past years, every time he started to write, he could not accomplish in writing anything but timid on overly weight footnotes, as his mind is filled and loaded tit too much of knowing and unable to define a simple statement to express.
With all these uneasiness being said, he could not help but longed for the time when he did not feel lonely. He became clear that he had Joined a lonely community, a world of readings where he live in this own space filled with a pile of books. At the time he can see how dull of a life he is in, he begun to search for something more colorful. He wants a life that has some passion, something meaningful without the need to think too much.
The determination has set up o recover him from this prestige yet cold miserable world, which he no longer willing to be part of, the state of being lonesome. However, he appreciates the thoughts derived from the education he had gained. Without being educated, he would not able to see what he has missed out, what he has gained, and the faired and balanced out life he did not has. To be faired, a person life should have what precious most to him such as family, love or happiness, as well as essential sources to live with such as education, career or hobby.
Similarly, in the essay called “Mother Tongue” written by Amy Tan mentioned that when she was young, she once hated the way how her mother English sounds like. She thought the way a person can speak described how educated that person is and she felt ashamed of her mom. Later, she even felt uneasy by there is no clear way to describe the condition of her mother English as it actually is not meant to be bad. Amy feels so normal in her mom way of speaking that it could somehow even show their own kind of communication. L wanted to capture what engage ability tests can never reveal: her intent, her passion, her imagery, the rhythms of her speech, and the nature of her thoughts,” said Amy. Likely, the time Rodriguez had gained with a genuine amount of knowledge and education, he could see the actual right and wrong facts upon life. The fact that his parents have imperfection in language and education skills is not the real matters of life. He learned how to accept his parents for who they are or what they have with and begun to understand their gratefulness and value as his parents.
This is the reason why he mentioned later on that, it does not bother him how much they have to talk or discuss about, their existence and the state of being with him can simply satisfy him now. All these realization on missing out with precious time in his life while pursuing his desire of schooling, concluded him with the decision of making up everything he has lost as much as he could. Cultural separation has lead him physically and mentally far away from his parents, and he believed this desire to care came up from the ability of his educated mind.
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