What I love about children is how honest they are especially with presents. At birthday parties it’s a surprise to see their reactions when they receive a gift. From a “Thank you vewy much” to a “O mah GAh , IT’S A Dinosaur, GRRRR”. Yes dear parents, you know I am talking about George from Peppa Pig. As a parent, I want to give not the best but the ‘Bestest’ of all presents. But, let’s get this straight it’s difficult to get a present. From K-mart to TOYS R—US, the hunt for a gift is harder than a 1000 piece puzzle set. So here we are. Young children, in the heart, at a beginning of a new adventure. The search for this Golden Treasure serves as a Trial which we would either triumph or fall. So we gather the hints and tips for the treasure. To make it we need to think of a gift that would last for life, that is useful and something that they will cherish. But what is it? Simply, the two S’s – Sensitivity and learning about the Self.
My name is Leaf Kippin your average parent but a seeker, like you, to offer the very best our children No education is complete without learning sensitivity and knowing your Self. For not only the little ones would get something about it but we too can learn something from each other! This little knowledge can solve our little ones self-imagined importance and how to better help them and ourselves! Then shall we begin?
Sensitivity is one of the keys in developing your own success with children; for it tells us that we cannot supress any desires, including theirs, but we can find a way to re-direct it. A quick search in the dictionary shows that Sensitive is being “receptive to sense impressions”. Therefore, behaviour arises from how you view your own children.
I was recently out with a parent who said something like this: “Children are like two crabs in a bucket. They are so silly that they would pull the other one down if one tries to escape…even if they are both capable of getting out! Children are cruel.” It’s obvious that this parent did not have a very big impression on children. It shows that it is a children’s instinct to pull another below them. It is common, but rather an old fashion one, to say children these days are hectic to deal with. Because, of how “bad” they are and “annoying” they are.
However, parents must realize that putting negative assumption on children would do no good. Using the idea of children and their “crabbiness” if we continue to only look at their own outward shell – we will never discover who they within. Instead, we should see them as beautiful people within like diamonds. Parents through their patience, love and understanding can use this to chip their children’s blocks of self-centeredness and self-preoccupation to selflessness and outer awareness.
I feel that sensitivity is a friend amongst us as it involves thinking, feeling and observing through empathising with children and adults alike. Sensitivity involves not looking through your own self but by looking throughout a detached but light hearted view – as children as beautiful people within which parents should co-operate with!
Learning about our Self is important in applying sensitivity, but, as we have discussed, it depends on our views. When we get caught up in our normal lives sometimes sensitivity is off the list. I could recall a time which I was on the phone, then, my daughter had kept tugging on my shirt saying “Look Look!” for about 20 times. In frustration, I said “Yes, you have scraped yourself. There is ointment over there. What do you want me to do with it right now?” In reply, as the small girl she was, she said “I just wanted for you to say you must feel hurt right now.” I realized how uncompassionate I was and how I could have empathised with her.
No matter, how many successes in our worldly conquest for technology, power or even the latest bloop noise in astronomy, there I did not have the answer to prove myself as a kind father I wanted to be. I felt shocked. But, my daughter had given me a special antidote to where our fights and squabbles arise from and that is our tendency to use the “mirror” concept.
Mirrors are often used by children, and sometimes adults, which they tend to look at the direct consequences. Such as, “He has the latest Phone X; I should have one too” or “Why is his bedroom such a mess, is he lazy?”. This kind of communication stops us from connecting with our children. Instead, it defers us from solving the case!
More or less, we are metaphorically surrounded by a wall of glass. They, our own vision, or even our extra pair of lenses. We cannot smash the source of our own pride and self-importance in hope of eliminating our negative thoughts. Rather, we can use it as ‘windows’ to see clearly.
This view is important in applying Sensitivity to Self. By looking through the glass, we can see the tree outside, the noisy cat and dog but more so, the route of our children’s unhappiness.
In this ‘detached’, or rather’ extracentredness’ skill, helps us to become friendly and patient towards others. Using the windows concept it increases our awareness and sensitivity while lessening our self-thoughts. If, we parents can apply this it could be the solution for our family’s hurdles.
Parents can apply this window analogy by writing poems, keeping journals and going out for nature walks with children. Holding a consistent family meeting at a time of the week can help implement your plans on increasing sensitivity – a challenge welcome to both children and parents alike! After that, we could look for our resource of where our feelings come from and communicate this to our children by saying sentences with “I feel” instead of judgements.
It may take months or even years to wrap this present for your child… but it would be priceless as they will have you to thank for.
Thank you dear parents for listening.
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